Friday, April 11, 2008

Dear Mr. Sam

Neither are you an uncle to me, or is it right to bring personal relationships to this, so I shall skip the 'Uncle' part. Let us get a few things clear here. You are one country. One country out of hundreds around the world. You have a constitutional setup and a congress whose job is to make laws for your country and your people. And to the rest of the world, you many a times sound retarded, or to use a more politically correct term, cognitively challenged. Or to put it like the way your countrymen do, you are a real dick sometimes. Now, let us shout this again to you. You, and your congress, are your country's, and not the world's. Didn't get me? Let me tell you again. Your congress makes rules for your country, and not for the world.

We appreciate your concern for Tibetans in China. Many of us share your concern as well. So, get your PR machine or the Congress to say so. But let's stop there. Let's not tell China what to do in this issue. It's their country and for all you know, as the Chinese Foreign Ministry says in so many words, you might not know anything about what's happening there. You have a job at hand. To help your country improve. As much as I would hate to follow your footsteps and tell you what to do, you do have a lot of issues within your country as well. What? Didn't get me? I said there's a lot of trouble brewing in your world. You know, companies writing off millions of dollars every day isn't exactly a new fashion statement.

Similarly, your concern regarding countries which refuse to repatriate immigrants who have been convicted in your country. Well, yes, you have a problem there. With your country that too (what a surprise!). Our sympathies. But you see, your highly logical VISA applications do ask for declarations stating that you don't plan to start any criminal or terrorist activity in there, right? And you thought criminals would obey them? That's sad! When you expect with such milk of goodness that criminals would follow what they give in writing, and all you get is betrayal. Tragic. Sigh. But hey, you didn't let them in purely to help them right? You know, like your statue of liberty says.. that give me your poor stuff. Yeah, your immigration laws clearly don't gel with that. Don't know what your culture and folklore says (Hey wait, you are only a few centuries old right? Atleast the majority of you which doesn't speak Cherokee and goes around claiming that people should speak the 'native' American English tongue? Sorry. My bad.), but there are lots of adages which float around in my native place which say something like when you want roses to bloom, you have to bear the thorns. Yeah, so, you get the point?

Very well, we still understand that you have a got a problem there. After all, those guys shouldn't be misbehaving like that. But well, you should talk and sort out the issue only by talking to the other countries. That's called diplomacy. But you have ended up putting forth a law which called for sanctions and suspensions of visas to countries which didn't tail your line. I would really hate to call you so, but well, generally, such countries are not really called peaceful. You know, the way you describe China and Saddam's Iraq.. yeah, a bit like that. What's funny still is that you don't realise what you would be up for, if all those countries decide to not bother about people not being able to come to your country, and tell you to stick that law of yours up your.. err.. you know what...

You can very well live with all your hypocrisy given your economic clout, and have the rest of the world wagging its tail behind you. But well, things could change. Hell, it's already looking as if its changing. I am sure making some amends would do you a world of good.


  1. how DARE you write such a blog? x-(

    (will this give me a green card uncle Sam (especially because you were in the same town as I am now)? :P)

  2. Also,
    I am not able to believe that we had a conversation that you were apolitical.
    This is a very political article.

  3. @turkey: heard about v.m.s.s? :p

    @vatsav: heh.. the line is quite thin :D

  4. Visa interview woman:
    Awritey...lets see this (reads form with squinted eyes)...Ramkumar Aiyengar...Bloomberg..hmm...(facial expression changed to colon-wo)
    wait arent you the guy who blogged on the US govt being a nosey?

    (taken aback by question, more so by the fact that his blog was being read by consolate women)
    Holy Mother of Gaad..that wasnt me...that was my doppleganger

    Visa Women:
    I'm sorry we dont let people with politically aware dopplegangers into the States.
    (nonchalantly) Next please.

    (threatening voice)
    hmph...I will be back!(bwahahahahaha)


  5. in future, if my visa application gets rejected, I know whom to blame for giving people at the consulate ideas! X( :P

  6. Alas! I had plans of asking u to get me a lappy from US [:(] And I need to inform Bulbee that we wont be meeting him there :D

  7. nah.. it's ok.. I think bulbee can use his political power to get me in :p

  8. lol...naah, I'm sure you'd be Prime Minister of UK by then, what with your current political tendencies.

    Bush will invite you. :P

  9. you seem determined to get me into some sorta trouble :D

  10. haha, super. agree with every bit you've written there. very honest open letter!